As I HeAr...

I'm currently in my room listening sa mga fav kong gospel songs...I've realize na parang iba na ko...Don't know wat's happening to me...I frequently go to uecp na...I usually go to Hp chapel...with my mom I go there for the sake na mgchurch ako ng sunday but where's my heart it's all empty!...I miss my old self The Shirley who always ask God everytime may ggwin who is devoted and binibgyn ng importance ang pag seserve but now...hmmm Like now ngtxt si hao he's asking me if pnta me student center pero mas pinili kong comp Don't know if I was influence by the people around me i told myself kc na I will try to go with the flow sa mga tao den show them na it's good na nasa lyk ko c God but parang la cla pa ung ngddala sakin weird...Grrr!I hate myself...Now na nkikinig me sa music... this were the music na kinnta nung ist camp ko the time when I promise to be a good God's daughter...This were the song na ngpaiyak sakin ng sobra den ito din ang ngparealize sakin na iba na ko ngaun....Last nyt after ko kauspn c jo I felt something that is bothering me...I just felt na parang iba na ko...esp wen mama said na parang ang weak ko na...lagi ko na pinaiiral ang feelings ko...unlyk dti na lgi akong mnhid...usually matalino ako noon i always know what will i do...But now empty lahat...i just go with the flow and I'm afraid sa mga mngyyre but still go parin ako...Ex...sa studies ko kpg pinglitan ako ngaun ng prof sooper dinadmdm ko...unlyk dati na paki ko ba! den now gusto nng lumipt ng ceu suko na ko...Well i know na d me mabilis sumuko but wat's happening to me kht sa next prod ng df...Minsan lumbas sa bibig ko na sana extra nalng me grr...Gusto ko na bumalik sa dti....I just feel na I need to be prepared sa lht ng bgy...Bring back my old self...Don't love too much... c God lng ang dapat kong mhalin ng ganun...Mind over heart dapat...Well Change topic...Knina ngfriendster ako...den I saw alexis's blog i was touched because I don't know na ganun pla nia ko kaluv haha well I love her naman sobra....lahat nmn cla...thanks lek! Yesterday dpt magblog me...iba tlga feeling ko yesterday pero nfrgt ko na ung mga dpt na illgy ko...all i know is that i'm so tired na sa course ko...Lord help me na makaalis na d2...help me to come back....I try my best na unahin ka sa lht ng bgy....Lubog kc ako sa feelings ko ryt now hay....